Perfect Dark (XBLA) Review

• Game: Perfect Dark
• Developer: 4J Studios
• Price: 800MS Points ($10.00)
• Release Date: 3/17/2010

I never played Perfect Dark when it originally came out back in 2000. I never owned a Nintendo 64 and therefore; I have no pleasant memories of playing Perfect Dark as a wee boy. I have spent a lot of time with the game and it seems rather obvious that nostalgic memories are key to enjoying the game. It is not a terrible game, but when comparing it to games coming out nowadays – which fans will frown upon as unfair – Perfect Dark falls behind and feels far too dated.

Perfect Dark is almost impossible to enjoy when playing by yourself [get your head out of the gutter]. The level design is terrible and it is extremely easy to get lost in a level. There is no direction and it is easy to just fly by an objective without a second glance. The A.I. is dumb and it will not be rare [get it] to see a character run in circles for an entire minute, but I guess that is the kind of intelligence you would expect from the president [oh no he didn’t]. The story is throwaway that tries to be funny, but rarely [damn it] induced a chuckle. The only joy I found in single-player was the fact Peter Molyneux’s face showed up every now and again and I was free to shoot the hell out of it. I will also say that the graphical update does make the game look rather pretty, especially in comparison to the N64 graphics.

Multi-player is the only way to play.

The fun in Perfect Dark is found in multi-player, which can be played both online and offline. You will find the standard deathmatch and competitive modes, a cooperative mode, and a mode [Counter-Operative] where one player controls Joanna as the other(s) control enemy bots in single-player missions. It is all fun and games when you play with some buddies and just joke around, but once they go back to their respective basements for a nap, the fun ends.

I really wanted to enjoy Perfect Dark despite my lack of nostalgic feelings, but I was left with annoyance and frustration. If you played Perfect Dark when it originally came out, you already bought this game and could care less about my personal thoughts [minus angry trolls]. For those like myself – the ones who never played Perfect Dark – I would recommend saving your money for something else, such as the awesome Toy Soldiers. The single-player is crappier than Modern Warfare 2 and while the multi-player can be fun, it isn’t good enough to pull you away from any of the big hitters (i.e. Modern Warfare 2).