Review: Full House Poker (XBLA)

Full House Poker is the final game featured in Xbox 360's House Party promotion and seems to be the closest replacement to the sad demise of 1 vs. 100. I say this not because they play similarly -- one is a poker game and the other is a trivia game (guess which is which) -- but due to the fact that Full House Poker uses only avatars and features specifically scheduled, live events; however, these live events don't feature a live host or prizes. Oh yeah, you have to pay for Full House Poker too.

You may be immediately turned off by the inclusion of a price tag, but it would be a good idea to put that anger in a blender, add some Skittles, and taste your angry rainbow; rainbows fix everything. I say this because Full House Poker is actually a really good game. It is so good, in fact, that it just may be the best poker experience I have had on a console -- I am a rather larger poker fan. Does it do anything deliciously different or ultimately unique? No, it just does Texas Hold 'Em and it does it well.

Some common issues I run into with many poker games is speed and the AI's quality. Full House Poker moves quickly and I never sat idly at my screen, watching bloated animation after animation just to force a hand a little longer. Another pleasant surprise is the fact your virtual combatants are not as "smart" as Sarah Palin fans -- yes, I did just get political up in this bitch; after all, I am currently typing this in my bitch. Each player seems to have somewhat of a unique style and it just feels natural. With all that said, I am sure many potential players are more interested in the online play.

Online play comes in the form of matches -- ranked or unranked -- and 'Texas Heat.' Matches are exactly what you expect, so I am really only concerned with the previously mentioned 'Texas Heat.' This hot (get it) mode is most reminiscent of 1 vs. 100, as it puts you and fellow gamers on a quest for the top spot and a pinch of notoriety. It is a fun system with three classes of tables and a slew of small, nice subtleties. I would love to say more, but it is relatively hard to mention the online play with the currently small user base.

Other than all that jazz, there is a simple experience system that is addictive and keeps me consistently coming back for more; I have probably played Full House Poker more than all other Xbox 360 poker games combined -- minus the awesome and obviously non-traditional Poker Smash. I won't say the game is not a bit of a one-note game, but it plays the hell out of that note and they always say it's about quality and not quantity. Honestly, my biggest gripe is a constant noise that sounds just like my doorbell and it drives me insane, but that is a small gripe in an otherwise enjoyable title.

P.S. "bitch" in my review's usage means "house." Sorry to disappoint all those believing I lived in a female dog and/or this gal.