E3 2011 Infallible Predictions

I have never said anything truer than this: No matter how unlikely and/or ridiculous these predictions are, they are all more likely than the "Rapture" ever was, unless your Rapture was listening to Blondie.

• Irrational Games decides to take BioShock Infinite back to Rapture.
• Nintendo pulls a Sega and turns into a software-only company.
• Sega pulls their hand out of your ass and announces the Dreamcast 2, releasing Fall '11.
• Along with the Dreamcast 2, Sega announces Shenmue 3 as a launch title.
• Microsoft says goodbye to the 360 and Kinect and just buys every public park. They then tell everyone to go outside an "play."
• Sony renames the NGP the PlayStation 4 and announces the PlayStation 5.
• Apple announces a console. They call it the Banana and steal that old boomerang controller, which is shaped rather close to a banana.
• 3D is out. 4D is in. Wait, 4D is now out and 3D is back in. Never mind, back to 2D, so say we all.
• Final Fantasy VII HD Definitive Remix Edition of Stop Crying About Aerith is announced and Square Enix decides to change the story by saving Aerith and killing Tifa.
• GameStop buys McDonalds and institutes a used marketplace for Fries, McNuggets, and Big Macs.
• Metal Gear Solid 5 is announced as a 67 hour long quick time event.
• Nintendo buys Running With Scissors and replaces The Dude with Mario in Postal 3.
• I am one hundred percent correct on all prediction none of the time, every time.

A prelude to Pixelated Radio #3

You may or may not already know, but Rob [@hendersonman] and I will be recording episode #3 of Pixelated Radio tomorrow morning-ish -- I don't know what people consider 10AM to be when it comes to the time of day. I also don't know why I never thought of this previously, but I figured it would be a good idea to put up a little post previewing some of the topics and allowing listeners at least some chance to conjure up a question (or two). So, without further ado, let me get onto the topic at hand: the topics of Pixelated Radio #3.

Some topics making their way into episode #3: My adventure of waiting in line for the iPad 2/discovery of defect/impressions to date, Homefront, Dragon Age II, Full House Poker, the Nintendo 3DS (to an extent), Marvel vs. Capcom 3, Majin and the Forsaken Kingdom, Bejeweled Blitz, and I [Kush] will at least mention the rumbling brought by recent Engadget departures.

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The iPad 2: my front-facing, broken camera [video]

I am not trying to hate on the iPad 2; I do enjoy it overall and bought one with  my own money after all. But, my iPad is not in 100% working condition and I find it hard to believe I will be the only one -- I would be annoyed beyond belief to be the only one with a broken front-facing camera. Does the functionality of the camera actually matter to me? No -- I have no use for either camera -- but that doesn't mean I am content with having a product from a company like Apple not work as it should. I don't really have more to say on this particular topic, but I will surely get this all resolved relatively soon. Below is a video taken with my lovingly broken, front-facing camera.

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The iPad 2: someone's getting punched in the face

Updated on Saturday, March 12, 2011 at 2:25AM by Marc Kusnierz

I took this picture with my iPod Touch's camera. You know, because I'm all meta and shit.

I will try and make this quick, which essentially means I will ramble uncontrollably into a dyslexic mess of loquacious dialogue. I am now the proud owner of an iPad 2. Yes, the iPad 2 released today at 5PM local time and yes, I waited in line to guarantee a purchase. Believe it or not, this is the first time I have ever waited in a line such as this in order to buy a product. Let me say this, if all waiting lines are like this, I would happily become a "waiter" more often.

I decided to do something I never do on this thankfully lovely day. I have never participated in a midnight launch, nor have I every waited for a hot new console or piece of tech. I decided to make an exception for the iPad 2 because Amazon will not be selling it and if I am going to pay sales tax, I am sure as hell going to get that product on day one. So, I walked what would probably be a tad over two miles (one way) and found myself to be the third man in line at my local Best Buy -- one, I was literally the third man in line and two, my favorite number is three. What happened next came as a surprise.

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iPhone: Do Not Press The Red Button Review

If you don't press this button, you can always press my button...

• App: Do Not Press The Red Button (v1.6)
• Developer: AppZap
• Price (at time of review): Free
• Release Date: 10/16/2009

Do Not Press The Red Button is just an app version of the now old, and somewhat tired, flash “game” of the same name. It’s hard to describe and best if you just experience it for yourself. This little joke first started in 2005, but I’m still enjoying it in 2009.

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