The Cursed Crusade is cursed today

The Cursed Crusade is quite possibly the greatest hair salon simulator ever created. With a tailored swift swipe, you and your magical sword can both cut off a man's head and render his scalp hairless at the same time! "But Marc, why would anyone want a haircut as I die?" What a silly question, but I'll humor you with an answer: necrophilia is steadily growing in popularity and if I was going to get sexually molested by fetishistic necrophiles, I would sure as hell want to look good while it happens.

Jokes aside, what I have played of The Cursed Crusade was rather awful on almost every level. The combat is boring and repetitive, the controls are sluggish, the visuals are visually unappealing, and the game has more bugs than my soon-to-be molested copse. It somewhat feels like an attempt to mix Assassin's Creed with more fantasy elements, but  the execution leaves me wishing for my own execution, as my brief time brought no fun and little material for puns. You-all can try out the game for yourself in a demo available now on Xbox LIVE and PSN. Go cut some hair.