Review: Perfect Couples (TV) - Pilot

Quick tip: I added "Far from." ...I know, I'm pretty damn hilarious.

As you can see from the header, Perfect Couples is far from a perfect show. As you can also see, I used the most obvious and unfunny joke I could, which happens to be quite fitting. Perfect Couples is the worst show I have seen this year, but that isn't saying much since it is still only January. So, why does Perfect Couples fail at being acceptable? ...You thought I was going to say 'perfect' didn't you.

Perfect Couples focuses on three different couples; three couples who are all longtime friends. You have your crazies: a couple who hates each other one second and then sexes it up the next; your by-the-book: a couple who lives out of relationship books; and your relatively normal couple. I don't have an issue with the clichés -- how many shows don't shower in cliché? My issue lies with the majority of portrayals and some of the acting, which leads to a public service announcement: Please stop using Olivia Munn in anything.

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Review: Raskulls (XBLA)

Raskulls is the second game in the Games for the Holidays promotion and seems to be garnering the least press. Raskulls was developed by Halfbrick Studios, the studio behind hit games like Fruit Ninja and Monster Dash. Their games are usually filled with plenty of charm -- Raskulls is no exception -- but is Raskulls also filled with a tasty strawberry filling? No. It's a game, not a doughnut.

I didn't love Raskulls and I didn't hate it; I am completely indifferent about my entire time with the game. There is fun to be found, but that fun is accompanied by a feeling of repetition. I use the word 'feeling' because the game does switch things up quite a bit, but I never felt like I was actually doing something different.

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Review: A World of Keflings (XBLA)

An all new Ice Kingdom is rather nice. See what I did there... with the rhyming and ship. (Keeping it PG)

A World of Keflings is the newest game from NinjaBee, the studio that brought us Outpost Kaloki X, Cloning Clyde, Band of Bugs, and of course, A Kingdom for Keflings. If you can't already tell, A World of Keflings is the sequel to A Kingdom for Keflings and now I will state the obvious: If you enjoyed Kingdom, you are going to enjoy World.

World is essentially the same game as Kingdom, but now you get two new worlds -- an Ice Kingdom and a Desert Kingdom -- in addition to the Forest Kingdom and new features, like more emotes than you could ever need. There isn't any drastic change to the formula, so your opinion of Kingdom will help you determine if you want to purchase World more than anything.

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Get 400MS points... by spending over 53 million dollars

Microsoft is currently running a promotion to get 400MS points free with the purchase of two qualifying XBLA titles between December 1, 2010 12:01 AM EST and December 20, 2010 11:59 PM EST. To qualify for this offer, one must download the Hot Arcade Offer Gamer Picture Pack; simple enough right?

If you answered yes, you would be dead wrong (at least at the moment). When I attempted to download the picture pack, I was met with a download that somehow cost -1MS points. I thought, "well, I guess I'll be getting a free point out of this," but I was met with an even bigger surprise. After pressing 'Confirm Download,' I received a message stating my Microsoft Points balance was too low and that the required balance was 4294967295MS points. No, that is not a misprint and yes, that is over  53 million real life dollars. Obviously this is a mistake that is going to be fixed soon and no one will ever mistakenly pay the 'Required Balance,' but it doesn't stop it from being pretty damn funny.

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Review: Super Meat Boy (XBLA)

The 'bloodiest" T-rated game you will ever play. I like the color of blood... it's also the color of sausage.

Super Meat Boy is an "F" you type of game. It will be "fun for you," or "frustrating for you." If you happen to be me, Super Meat Boy will magically "F" you twice with his meat; I found the game both fun and frustrating.

My frustration stems from one key issue: the controls. The controls are not terrible by any means; they feel good most of the time, but I do find them occasionally imprecise. I may desire to jump at a specific time, only to see Mr. Meat run right into a pool of death. This doesn't happen all the time, but in a game that is all about precision and timing; a lack of precision, at any time, is a problem.

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Review: Hydrophobia (XBLA)

There is plenty of water to be found in Hydrophobia... you won't have to worry about staying hydrated. I'm sorry.

Hydrophobia is a puzzle/action game for Xbox LIVE Arcade with a heavy emphasis on water, if that wasn't obvious from the title. Hydrophobia was never on my radar prior to actually playing it, and now I know the reason; it is not a very good game.

I had no expectations, which makes it a sad situation that Hydrophobia could not even reach my non-existent expectations. The game takes place in an underwater facility called 'The Queen of the World,' which may be a terribly unfunny call to James Cameron and Titanic, or I could simply be stretching. The story takes place over three horribly paced acts in which you play as security engineer, Kate Wilson. The first act is basically a long tutorial, the second is a bloated mess that never seems to end, and the third and final act ends sooner than expected. I won't spoil anything - not that there's much to spoil - but the ending actually made me like the game even less.

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Club Nintendo 2010 Platinum and Gold Rewards revealed

I wasn't a Club Nintendo Platinum member in 2009 - I wasn't even a Gold member - but I have managed to reach this somewhat sad (?) status in 2010 and I am quite the happy camper. The Club Nintendo year has officially ended and the rewards for both Platinum and Gold members are live for redemption.

2009 saw a Mario hat or a Doc Louis downloadable game for Platinum members and a calendar for Gold members. I will say, I was a bit jealous of the Mario hat despite not being his biggest fan. I don't know why, but there was just something cool about it. But, if I had to choose between hitting the Platinum status in 2009 or 2010; I would choose 2010 in a heartbeat. 2010 Platinum members will be rewarded with a statuette featuring all the classic Mario characters. It's simply awesome and something I actually wouldn't mind placing on a shelf for all to see.

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Review: Snoopy Flying Ace (XBLA)

Snoopy Flying Ace is the best arcade air combat game since Crimson Skies. And, it may actually be better. Don't let the Peanuts license scare you off; Snoopy, Charlie Brown, and all of their friends have little to do with the actual game. You may find a tad more enjoyment if you are a Peanuts fan, but coming from someone who couldn't care less about the license (aka moi), the game is just pure fun.

Flying Ace does play very similar to the old Crimson Skies games, but I actually believe it plays better; however, I haven't played a Crimson Skies game in quite some time. The controls are easy to learn and yes, easy to master. It is really nice to see a flight game with controls that don't get overly complicated with controller inputs that don't feel natural; Dark Void says, "howdy partner." Please don't ask why Dark Void talks with a southern twist.

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Review: Zeno Clash: Ultimate Edition (XBLA)

• Game: Zeno Clash: Ultimate Edition
• Developer: ACE Team
• Price: 1200MS Points ($15.00)
• Release Date: 05/05/2010

Zeno Clash: Ultimate Edition is not new – it released for PC over a year ago without the “Ultimate” tagline – but it just came out on XBLA with extra content and it is unique if nothing else. Zeno Clash is a first-person brawler/shooter with the teeter-totter tipping in the direction of brawling. The Ultimate Edition adds new modes and weapons, but the thing that drew me in was nothing new; the art style is both beautiful and disturbing.

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5 Reasons to Thank Xbox

The original Xbox launched on November 15, 2001. The system has not seen a new release in almost two years, but Xbox Live continued to thrive and Halo 2 players acted as if next-gen never happened. All things must come to an end and now, Xbox Live support for Xbox and Xbox originals is officially dead and the system is barely more than a paperweight. This is not a moment of sadness, but a moment to look back at what the Xbox did for gaming. So, in no particular order, I give you five reasons to thank the Xbox.

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