Assault Android Cactus preview: a surprising and surprisingly fun twin-stick shooter (with a really weird name)

An interesting name can grab one's attention, but what someone does once they have said attention means everything. Assault Android Cactus is a game with such a name and, if you take the time to see what's behind the name, you'll find a fun little game; and I promise, Assault Android Cactus won't assault you with rhymes like me and my invisible accomplice.

So, what is Assault Android Cactus? Well, for one, it isn't full of cactuses; in fact, there isn't a single cactus in the entire game, other than a female android who's named, Cactus. What I'm trying to say, is, if you're expecting a game where you assault androids shaped like cactuses, you are going to be extremely disappointed; however, if you have no expectations at all, you'll be surprised to find a great little twin-stick shooter hidden underneath the confusing, prickly title.

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The Pixelated Sausage Podcast #046: Sales, Taxes, and Sales Tax

This episode is just a bunch of bull as I get ready for my last first day of school. I talk about some of the new sales of the week and why Microsoft points weren't such a bad thing! Anyway, if you're feeling extra generous, donate a little money or subscribe to show your support for the site and show(s), it's not free to host the site, the show; to make and record videos, and everything in between. Thanks regardless.

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The Pixelated Sausage Podcast #045: Kicking Badly While Breaking Beats

This episode is especially nonsensical and utterly ridiculous, so, you're welcome. Ok, I basically talk all about KickBeat and how it disappointed me--read my review--and then reiterate my hatred for Walter White. Blah, blah, blah; it's Labor Day and I'm laboring for you, so enjoy or else! Anyway, if you're feeling extra generous, donate a little money or subscribe to show your support for the site and show(s), it's not free to host the site, the show; to make and record videos, and everything in between. Thanks regardless.

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KickBeat review: doesn't quite land every kick

I am a huge fan of games that mix music and gameplay if done well--like Audiosurf and, more recently, Beatbuddy (ignoring its technical faults--read my review)--so I was excited when Zen Studios--best known for their many pinball games--announced KickBeat, a game set to mix music and kung fu. Well, the wait is finally over and, sadly, KickBeat doesn't quite hit all the right notes--sorry, I couldn't help myself.

I played KickBeat on the Vita, but it is also coming out for the PS3 via PSN and is a Cross-Buy title, so you will get both versions of the game when buying one or the other. The gameplay is simple; your character is in the middle of different themed arenas, surrounded by a mass of enemies in one of three different colors that signify enemy type, and you attack enemies in one of four directions--up, down, left, or right--with either the face buttons or the directional pad (or by touching the screen on the Vita) as they attack alongside the beat. It is a great idea, but it doesn't always work out according to plan.

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Insurgency preview: hold off on this Early Access shooter

If you're not going to do anything particularly new, at least do it well; that is a perfectly reasonable request, right? Insurgency is a new tactical first-person shooter available now via Steam Early Access and fails doing anything new or doing what it does well.

"But Insurgency is an Early Access game and only in beta; shouldn't you cut it some slack?"

No.

The developers are charging $19.99 for Insurgency and, if they are willing to take your money, discount or not, the game deserves to be judged to the point where one can ask the question: "Should I buy it?" and get an honest answer in return. Sure, I may not be the biggest fan of the concept of paying full price to be a beta tester in general, but I have also played other Early Access games--like Mercenary Kings--and would recommend buying them without hesitation, so it's not like I have some anti-Early Acess agenda I'm taking out on Insurgency. But what exactly is Insurgency and why isn't it worth recommending. (I should probably get to that by now.)

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Madden NFL 25 on iOS does free-to-play in all the wrong ways

Madden NFL 25 isn't just available for Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3--and coming soon to Xbox One and PlayStation 4--it is also available for iOS and, get this, it is 100% free! I know what you're thinking, "Free?! Oh boy, that sure is swell!" Well, before you get so excited you crap your pants, realize that this means Madden NFL 25 on iOS is a free-to-play game and it is a shining example of everything wrong with the free-to-play model.

A good free-to-play game should never require paying to play--it is called "free-to-play" after all--but, while it is technically viable to play Madden NFL 25 without ever paying, the experience is greatly inhibited without paying and, if you want to play online, your ass will get destroyed by those who paid to unlock better players and additional plays via blind card packs--yes, many plays are locked, some unlocking after a certain level is reached, including the ability to set up for a kick return on the left or right side of the field (WHAT?!).

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The Pixelated Sausage Podcast #044: One Ear Death Listen

This episode is all about grinding souls and punching people to death with one finger. First, I talk about the brand new iOS shmup, Soul Grinder [review], and then I finally talk about the amazing Xbox LIVE Indie Game, One Finger Death Punch. Anyway, if you're feeling extra generous, donate a little money or subscribe to show your support for the site and show(s), it's not free to host the site, the show; to make and record videos, and everything in between. Thanks regardless.

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Soul Grinder review: a shmup that's more frustrating than fun

I am not a fan of trial-and-error gameplay; the kind of gameplay that forces you to replay a level over and over again because there is no way of knowing what is ahead; a game more about level memorization than pure skill. Soul Grinder, a new shmup for iOS, Android and Ouya, incorporates such gameplay and ends up being more frustrating than fun.

I had fun with Soul Grinder at first, when the difficulty wasn't much of an issue, but all that changed quickly as I found myself dying because I had no idea an enemy or obstacle was going to pop up right in front of me. Feeling like I never had a chance is a feeling I never enjoy when playing a game and, near the end of the first world--there are three worlds of eight levels each and then a final boss battle--that feeling became constant. On top of that, the controls are just a bit loose and, in a game that requires quick reactions and precise movements, even the smallest of control issues is exacerbated.

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The Pixelated Sausage Podcast #043: Out of the Shadows, Into the Second Dimension

Y'all know I'm a huge Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fan and, despite some worried thoughts, I was excited for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows. Well, the game finally came out today and I have some thoughts regarding what I played so far; what are those thoughts? Listen to the damn show to find out! Why would I give away all my secrets right here in the post?! In addition to TMNT, I talk about some Nintendo news and good ol' ads. Anyway, if you're feeling extra generous, donate a little money or subscribe to show your support for the site and show(s), it's not free to host the site, the show; to make and record videos, and everything in between. Thanks regardless.

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The Pixelated Sausage Podcast #042: Where Mercenaries Burn the Fronts of Kings

This here episode is the longest one to date and full of many crazy moments--what else do you expect? I talk about Mercenary Kings, my thoughts about Steam Early Access in general, a new gaming site called Frontburnr, and some other crap I can't remember despite recording not too long ago. Anyway, if you're feeling extra generous, donate a little money or subscribe to show your support for the site and show(s), it's not free to host the site, the show; to make and record videos, and everything in between. Thanks regardless.

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