Donut Say No to Freshly Frosted | FIRST!

This episode is all about Freshly Frosted, a puzzle game about decorating donuts in the most relaxing factory ever, and I know a thing or two about factory work having spent a summer working in one during my youth; though, my factory experience was more sweaty, exhausting, unfulfilling, and about as far from pleasant as any singular experience could be. Freshly Frosted is the complete opposite.

Click to read more ...

Don't Have a Kao the Kangaroo, Man, Over My Mispronunciation of the Game's Name, 'Kay | FIRST!

This episode is all about Kao the Kangaroo, a 3D action-platformer that's solid in many ways and exceptional in none. It feels good to play and has an overall charming aesthetic with a nice amount of color, but the audio is lacking, especially the voice acting of the main character, and it's too often too tedious for it's own good, making what could have been a simple and pleasant game, a tedious and disappointing shame.

Click to read more ...

Revisiting Max Payne (Full Playthrough) | Second Runs

My Problem With Souldiers Is Both Random and Not Random | FIRST!

This episode is all about Souldiers, a metroidvania with a lot of promise that shoots itself in the foot with some of the worst design decisions I’ve seen in a while. Because of this, I’m not going to spend too much time talking about the game because none of it matters when one thing in particular kills the entirety of my ability to enjoy the game. What is that one thing? RNG. I can accept RNG in turn-based games (when done well), but as soon as you throw it into a game with real-time combat, I immediately lose interest (and that's exactly what happened to me when I started playing Souldiers).

Click to read more ...

A Good Story and Great Voice Acting Can’t Make Up for the Rest of INDUSTRIA's Shortcomings | FIRST!

This here episode is all about INDUSTRIA, a first-person shooter that takes you from East Berlin into a parallel reality, shortly before the end of the Cold War. You’re on the search for a missing work colleague and, during your search, you’re transported to a mysterious parallel dimension where a dark past reveals itself, including a second life you never knew your friend had. You’re all alone, at least at first, as you try and put the puzzle pieces together and, surely, try and find a way home as well. INDUSTRIA shows a lot of promise, but technical issues and questionable design choices kill what could have been a good, maybe even great, game. It's not a total failure and there's still a chance if it receives a patch or two, but until that (hopefully) happens, I'd pass on INDUSTRIA.

Click to read more ...

The Mafia Remake Is a Fresh Coat of Paint on a Car in Need of Heavy Tuning | Attack the Backlog

This episode of Attack the Backlog is all about Mafia, specifically the Definitive Edition, which is a remake of the original game from 2002. Technically, this is a bit of a cheat episode since I did play the original when it came out, but since this is a full-blown remake, I said, "Fuck it, this is my show, and I can do whatever the heck I want," and whatever the heck I did. Regardless of hecks given or taken, the real question is, is Mafia as good today as it was back in the day and, to answer that...

Click to read more ...

Metal Tales: Overkill Is Just The Binding of Isaac...but Metal...and Not as Good | FIRST!

Metal Tales: Overkill, for better or worse, is just The Binding of Isaac with a heavy metal filter over it. Does that sound like your jam? Do metal fans even use the word jam? Regardless of whether you jam or jelly, Metal Tales: Overkill does an okay job of mimicking The Binding of Isaac, but mimic Isaac is all it does and, if you ignore the whole metal thing, it's just a poor imitation of a much better game. The only standout are its boss fights, but as good as the boss fights may be, they aren't nearly enough to make up for the rest of the game's shortcomings.

Click to read more ...

Wildcat Gun Machine Is More Mild Than Wild | FIRST!

This one hurts. It hurts because I really wanted to love Wildcat Gun Machine (and was so sure I would). The art is great and the setup is even better–I love twin-stick shooters, bullet hell or not, and I love dungeon crawlers–so how could it possibly go wrong? Sadly, things did go wrong thanks to the game being too easy to make anyone ever confuse it with a "real" bullet hell game and, because of this, it failed to make much of an impression, leaving me with no desire to continue playing after beating the first area and dabbling in the second. I may return one day, but, like the bullets in Wildcat Gun Machine, I'm not in any rush.

Click to read more ...

The Perils of Baking Are Anything but Super | FIRST!

Super Perils of Baking is a remake of the 2018 platformer, Perils of Baking. As someone who's only played the remake and has zero experience with the original, I'm left wondering why this game deserved the remake treatment. Is Perils of Baking actually good? Was something lost in translation as it made the jump to 16-bits? I like platformers and have enjoyed many over the years, but Super Perils of Baking is not one of them; it's the kind of game I wouldn't even recommend if it was free on Game Pass.

Click to read more ...

If You Like Jank, RICO: London Will Gladly Accept Your Thanks | FIRST!

RICO: London is not a good game. The shooting and visuals are just okay, there are bugs and performance issues throughout, and the gameplay is incredibly repetitive; however, despite or because of all this, it's a surprisingly good time. It may seem weird to shit on a game only to follow said shitting with, "But it's a good time," but to try and act like I didn't have fun playing RICO: London would be a lie. All that said, I still wouldn't recommend the game to anyone because one's tolerance for jank varies wildly from person to person and, with a price tag of $50 (at least on Xbox), it's way too expensive for what you get. As it currently stands, RICO: London is good dumb fun, but even if you love good dumb fun, be smart and wait for a sale on this one.

Click to read more ...