The Sausage Dump #1: Rob's Man-Crush on Jake G

The Sausage Dump was a name/segment I created for Distributed Failure a while back; it was a segment devoted to all things not game-related. In the past month or two Distributed Failure has grown larger and we have not had the time to get to The Sausage Dump in most recent episodes. This has been resolved by creating a brand new podcast conveniently entitled The Sausage Dump.

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iPhone: Do Not Press The Red Button Review

If you don't press this button, you can always press my button...

• App: Do Not Press The Red Button (v1.6)
• Developer: AppZap
• Price (at time of review): Free
• Release Date: 10/16/2009

Do Not Press The Red Button is just an app version of the now old, and somewhat tired, flash “game” of the same name. It’s hard to describe and best if you just experience it for yourself. This little joke first started in 2005, but I’m still enjoying it in 2009.

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iPhone: Kyper Review

An interesting concept that doesn't end up working particularly well.

• Game: Kyper (v1.0.4)
• Developer: NimbleBit
• Price (at time of review): Free
• Release Date: 5/7/2009

Kyper is all about getting to the highest speed possible, while avoiding asteroids at the same time. The unique aspect of Kyper is that in order to increase your speed, you’ll have to fly as close as possible to certain asteroids and avoid other asteroids at the same time.

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iPhone: Facebook Review

It's Facebook for the iPhone...and it's kind of better than the "real" Facebook.

• App: Facebook (v3.02)
• Developer: Facebook
• Price (at time of review): Free
• Release Date: 7/28/2008

I’m phoning it in with this review. Facebook for the iPhone is a terrific app and I happen to find it preferable to the “real” Facebook. I’m not really into the whole Facebook/Myspace world anymore, but this particular app motivates me to be a bit more active.

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iPhone: Doodle Jump Review

Doodle sorta rhymes with cool, and that reminds me of FUEL. Wait, what?!

• Game: Doodle Jump (v1.9)
• Developer: Lima Sky
• Price (at time of review): $0.99
• Release Date: 10/15/2009

Doodle Jump is a relatively simple game. The entire purpose is to get your little doodle guy as high as possible while dodging enemies, holes, and never missing a platform. The world is filled with power-ups and hazards and it’s never the same game twice. With all that said, Doodle Jump is completely reliant on tilt controls and thankfully they work almost flawlessly.

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Death of a Console: A War May Be Brewing

There are two things that scare me more than anything else. The potential death of my fully-BC PS3 and the potential death of my limited edition red Xbox 360. One of these two fears has become a reality and it just so happened to be the latter. My red Xbox 360 has received the E68 error code, which delivers one red light and hardware failure.

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iPhone: Seduce a SuicideGirl Review

 Question: Why are they called "Suicide Girls" when they never commit suicide?

• Game: Seduce a SuicideGirl (v1.0)
• Developer: SuicideGirls
• Price (at time of review): $0.99
• Release Date: 9/3/2009

I can’t say that I’m familiar with the entire “Suicide Girl” universe, but that’s not needed to find enjoyment from this choose your own adventure-esque game. Seduce a Suicide Girl has you working your way to a “sexy, 17+ make-out session with her (Zoli Suicide)”, but don’t expect anything too risqué.

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iPhone: Solitaire Premium Review

 It's solitaire and it works, what more do you need?

• Game: Solitaire Premium (v1.0)
  
• Developer: Awesomest Software
• Price (at time of review): $1.00
• Release Date: 8/17/2009

Solitaire Premium is a great solitaire game with responsive controls and nice animations. The app store is littered with dozens of different solitaire games and it may be hard to find the right one, but Solitaire Premium is a great version of the familiar card game.

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iPhone: Skee-Ball Review

God's favorite game! - According to Dogma.

• Game: Skee-Ball (v1.1)
• Developer: Freeverse, Inc.
• Price (at time of review): $0.99
• Release Date: 9/22/2009

Skee-Ball is one of the best games I’ve played on the iPhone. Skee-ball is not a game that has crossed my mind since the good ol’ days of Chuck E. Cheese, but this game makes me want to revisit my local Chuck E. Cheese like a creepy old guy (ie. Paul Reubens) and rock some skee-ball with God.

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iPhone: SquareMaze Review

SquareMaze really utilizes the power of the iPhone!

• Game: SquareMaze (v1.0)
  
• Developer: iGecko
• Price (at time of review): Free
• Release Date: 8/19/2009

SquareMaze is a game where you try to move a box through a “maze” without touching any other object. It could have been a decent game, but it’s extremely short and it doesn’t help that the game is completely broken.

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