Insult Ninja: The Signed In Podcast

If you want to reveal the utterly underwhelming ninja-chopline, whore it up with a click.

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Review: Full House Poker (XBLA)

Full House Poker is the final game featured in Xbox 360's House Party promotion and seems to be the closest replacement to the sad demise of 1 vs. 100. I say this not because they play similarly -- one is a poker game and the other is a trivia game (guess which is which) -- but due to the fact that Full House Poker uses only avatars and features specifically scheduled, live events; however, these live events don't feature a live host or prizes. Oh yeah, you have to pay for Full House Poker too.

You may be immediately turned off by the inclusion of a price tag, but it would be a good idea to put that anger in a blender, add some Skittles, and taste your angry rainbow; rainbows fix everything. I say this because Full House Poker is actually a really good game. It is so good, in fact, that it just may be the best poker experience I have had on a console -- I am a rather larger poker fan. Does it do anything deliciously different or ultimately unique? No, it just does Texas Hold 'Em and it does it well.

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The iPad 2: my front-facing, broken camera [video]

I am not trying to hate on the iPad 2; I do enjoy it overall and bought one with  my own money after all. But, my iPad is not in 100% working condition and I find it hard to believe I will be the only one -- I would be annoyed beyond belief to be the only one with a broken front-facing camera. Does the functionality of the camera actually matter to me? No -- I have no use for either camera -- but that doesn't mean I am content with having a product from a company like Apple not work as it should. I don't really have more to say on this particular topic, but I will surely get this all resolved relatively soon. Below is a video taken with my lovingly broken, front-facing camera.

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The iPad 2: someone's getting punched in the face

Updated on Saturday, March 12, 2011 at 2:25AM by Marc Kusnierz

I took this picture with my iPod Touch's camera. You know, because I'm all meta and shit.

I will try and make this quick, which essentially means I will ramble uncontrollably into a dyslexic mess of loquacious dialogue. I am now the proud owner of an iPad 2. Yes, the iPad 2 released today at 5PM local time and yes, I waited in line to guarantee a purchase. Believe it or not, this is the first time I have ever waited in a line such as this in order to buy a product. Let me say this, if all waiting lines are like this, I would happily become a "waiter" more often.

I decided to do something I never do on this thankfully lovely day. I have never participated in a midnight launch, nor have I every waited for a hot new console or piece of tech. I decided to make an exception for the iPad 2 because Amazon will not be selling it and if I am going to pay sales tax, I am sure as hell going to get that product on day one. So, I walked what would probably be a tad over two miles (one way) and found myself to be the third man in line at my local Best Buy -- one, I was literally the third man in line and two, my favorite number is three. What happened next came as a surprise.

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Insult Ninja: Monty Python and the Holy Grail

If you want to reveal the joke you've heard 967 times before, whore it up with a click.

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The Sausagefied Dreamcast Collection Giveaway

Updated on Saturday, March 19, 2011 at 2:30AM by Marc Kusnierz

If you are a Sega fan, especially lovers of the Dreamcast, you are going to love the words escaping my keyboard. Sega has been nice enough to provide this here site with a copy of the Dreamcast Collection for Xbox 360, a copy of the Dreamcast Limited Edition Vinyl, and two very special Dreamcast hoodies (sizes to be determined). I don't know about you, but I would surely love to win me some of this lovely Sega swag. Enough chit-chat, time to deliver the information you really want: How do I [you] win them?

I always thought the question was, "to be or not to be," but apparently more people care about winning video game prizes. This lovely Dreamcast extravaganza will feature multiple ways to win. And, like my previously held giveaway, these prizes will only be eligible for Pixelated Sausage members, so sign up for an account and make it rain -- I don't know what that means. Anyway, onto the rules, ways to enter, and all important information.

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Review: Dreamcast Collection (Multi)

Let me say before anything else that the score listed below is reflective of the Dreamcast Collection's value and not the quality of the actual games included. First, you get four $10 Xbox LIVE Arcade games for $30. Second, you get two Xbox LIVE Arcade games -- Space Channel 5 Part 2 and Sega Bass Fishing -- before they are digitally released. With all that out of the way, I shall get onto the actual games. Also, please forgive my broken-record syndrome throughout this review.

I have been dreading this review because I really don't enjoy delivering virtual negativities about games from one of my favorite systems. The fact is, the Dreamcast Collection offers few choices and is nothing but a glorified XBLA hub. It would be an understatement to call the UI limited, as it is barely even existent. Loading the collection brings you to a screen with the ability to choose one of four available games; upon making a choice, the ability to switch games doesn't seem to exist without returning to the dashboard and starting all over again. It is an extremely frustrating experience that has no excuse. I could go on and on, but the disc in nothing but an independent game launcher.

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Super Pixelated Sausage Giveaway Winners

You will either love this list or hate it; it really depends on whether you're on it or not. Below rests all the lucky winners of the recent -- way too massive -- contest held here at Pixelated Sausage. If you didn't win this time, just remember that all members are automatically entered in all future contests and this is far from the last contest/giveaway. Once again, I just want to thank everyone who entered and got involved; it means a lot and I hope you found something of worth in all of this. Enough jibber jabber and more winner wabber. Yeah, I don't know what that mean either.

Winners*:

• ohram -- Winner of Trash Panic (PSN)
• @mightymek -- Winner of Age of Booty (PSN), Blokus (PSN) and multiple iOS games.
• @AndrewCarey17 -- Winner of Mavel vs. Capcom 2 (PSN)
• @LilllithDravin -- Winner of a $10 iTunes Giftcard
• Daniel Yu -- Winner of Kane & Lynch 2: Dog Days (Steam)
• @jGazMom -- Winner of Alan Wake (X360)
• @JPtheProdigy -- Winner of a $10 iTunes Giftcard
• @Bioware_Contest -- Winner of a $10 iTunes Giftcard
• @Vod_Crack -- Winner of Broken Sword: The Sleeping Dragon (Steam)
• @Gamingftw92 -- Winner of Thief: Deadly Shadows (Steam)
• Tyler Smith -- Winner of Left 4 Dead (Steam)
• @PrarieD0G -- Winner of a $10 iTunes Giftcard
• @silentplatypus -- Winner of Cursed Mountain: Limited Edition (Wii)

Full list can be found with an obviously whorish click.

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Insult Ninja: Men with Small Feet

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The Oscars 2011: a few snubs from this here bub

The Oscars are only hours away and while there may be plenty of nominations to go around, there will always be snubs. This year features three particular snubs: Tangled for 'Best Animated Feature,' The Tillman Story for 'Best Documentary (feature),' and Tron: Legacy for 'Best Original Score.' I know you're probably saying, "what about Christopher Nolan for 'Best Director?'" Well, I wasn't particularly a fan of Inception and nothing about that film shouted great directing.

• Snub Numero Uno

I know everyone is deep up Toy Story 3's anus like they 're giving it a colonoscopy -- trust me, you'd find polyps -- but there was a far better animated film released in 2010. That film is called Tangled and it is a return to classic Disney; it is what The Princess and the Frog wanted to be. I did not expect much out of this film, but when I saw it -- I happened to be one of the few males adults not accompanied by a child -- I immediately fell in love. If you loved the most recent Disney classics -- such as Aladdin, The Lion King, and Beauty and the Beast -- I'd find it hard for you to escape Tangled's  loveliness. Not only is this film my favorite animated feature of 2010, it may even be my favorite overall film of 2010. By the way, the film is absolutely beautiful. -- Other snubs with clickage.

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